My croaks bring all the frogs to the lilypad~
When I find myself in times of trouble, Robert Downey Jr. comes to me, speaking words of wisdom…

I’m on a sabbatical from everything but some mild Skyping for various reasons (mostly involving school and trying to get a handle on proper adult behavior like…living and…finances…awareness…those kind’ve things…see previous personal post when I had a mental breakdown, I’m better, not great, but better). However, as a combination former 4chan /co/mrade and current Tumblr blogger, I have some words for you people.

First of all, a question: On a scale of one to invade Russia in the winter, just how bad is your idea?

Answer: Russia vs. the White Death of Finland in the Winter War. That fucking bad.

You Tumblr SJWs think you can shut down 4chan. 4chan, the site that has successfully dodged more DDOS attacks than The Pirate Bay itself. The site that has hacked the fucking government on several occasions. The site that has made Fox News shit its collective pants, helped expose Scientology as the cult that it is, that has hunted down and brought pedophiles and animal abusers alike to justice. That 4chan?

You complain of their triggering and offensive material. And I agree, the site is goddamn offensive, and I have a much higher tolerance than the average Tumblr-user, given that I was hardened to their preferred weapons of gorn and slurs through the very hate machine itself.

Newsflash though: Most of them are assholes for the sake of being assholes. You can’t try to ‘reeducate’ them, quite a few of them already know better but enjoy seeing you froth at the mouth and lose your minds over being offended because it makes you look like just as big an asshole as them. They don’t make qualms about what they are. They know they’re horrible. And that’s never going to change. But if they can make someone look like a fool with just a few well-placed pictures or ‘harmful’ words, they can and will do so.

Let me pose a hypothetical situation to you #shutdown4chan people in hopes you might understand better, in case it isn’t obvious by now.

No doubt you’ve seen a hornet’s nest. You know hornets are horrid nasty creatures made of pain and rage and flying, stinging death (unlike their wonderful cousins the bees who don’t mean us any intentional harm and just wanna make us food delicious food and pretty flowers). You don’t need to be stung by a hornet to know this, though it helps, because their reputation already precedes them from those who have been stung, not to mention they just plain look terrifying. Now, let’s say this particular hornet’s nest isn’t even your average hornet’s nest, let’s say this nest is like…oh…the unholy offspring of Japanese hornets and Tracker Jackers, yes, that’s suitably terrifying, I think.

(In case it still isn’t:)

(This is what your nightmares have nightmares about.)

And not only that, attempts to kill this nest have ended in painful, agonizing FAILURE. Poison hasn’t worked, smoke hasn’t worked, vibrating overheater bee swarms haven’t worked. Fire cannot even kill this dragon…er. Hornet. There’s currently a pile of corpses from professional exterminators piled around the tree the nest is hanging in. It’s got a reputation that has sent, like, the last six previous owners of the house running to Antarctica to get away from it.
A smart person would avoid this nest even if it means it’s an eyesore in your yard. A smart person would be stung perhaps ONCE and then never so much as look at it. Or perhaps take the advice of his/her/their predecessor and flee for Antarctica, because leopard seals are only slightly less terrifying.

What you people are doing? You are essentially poking this gigantic hornet’s nest. Repeatedly. And you didn’t even bother to wear some form of protective clothing, you’re essentially out there with your unpacified tits in the breeze.

So please, for your own sakes. As someone who has witnessed this hate machine in action, take my advice:

Leave the goddamn hornet’s nest alone.

Or I am gonna sit back and watch this bloodbath with popcorn while you folks die screaming.

nodaybuttodaytodefygravity:

unicornmunch:

dauntlessoldier:

4th of July posts

the last one killed me. … i can’t even .

IT’S ALMOST THAT TIME AGAIN BITCHES

AMERICA DAY BITCHES

THE ONE DAY A YEAR WE PRETEND NOT TO HATE OUR COUNTRY

Oh look! It’s time for a round of our favorite game: “Froggy whinges in another fucking personal post.”

I thought I had things under control/was getting them under control.

I thought I was doing good with my progress as an ‘adult’.

I was wrong. I was so very, VERY wrong.

Read More

Gorram hackers with your weightloss LIES.

Get off my damn blog.

bowtiesandbiscuits:

15th of March 2014.

Ordered a Caesar Salad today, proceeded to stab it 23 times before consumption. Nobody else found it as hilarious. 

kshartel:

baublesandbrimstone:

((‘WATCH FIREFLY’ YOU SAID.

'COME JOIN OUR CULT OF BROWNCOATED SPACE COWBOYS', YOU SAID.

'IT'LL BE FUN', YOU SAID.

14 EPISODES AND ONE MOVIE LATER:

image

…I SAID.

I AM THE FUCKING EPITOME OF GRIEF BACON AND I AM NEVER TAKING RECOMMENDATIONS FROM YOU PEOPLE AGAIN.))

image

Remember the time Gabi said this? 

And then she listened when I told her to watch Chuck, and to read American Gods and TFiOS? 

Because I do. 

I STAND BY WHAT I SAID THEN AND I STAND BY IT NOW.

THE ONLY TIME I HAVEN’T WANTED TO BEAT YOU WITH SOMETHING YOU INTRODUCED ME TO WAS GOOD OMENS.

LIFE IS PAIN, PRINCESS.

LIFE

IS

PAIN

petalspalace:

to-be-a-lost-boy:

tardisinwonderland:

necromander:

Be careful what you wish for.

Wow what I never realized the colors were inverted

You’d think I would have noticed that

That’s the point. The world Coraline lives in is supposed to be boring and gray, but the people are what give it life and purpose. In the Other Mother’s world the people are plastic puppets where she pulls the strings because it presumably changes for every child she takes, but the world around them is bright and colorful for the purpose of enticing the children to stay… before they notice the inhabitants are nothing but dust.

that was deep

This was the scariest damn film I’ve ever seen

ravenmincelot:

Superjail - The Warden

Huh. I guess I should actually reblog/post things here instead of just liking posts and snazzing/refurbishing up the blog…I don’t know how to vacation. Or social.

How do?

?????? ? ??? ? ?? ? ???????????? ?? ? ? ?

*squints at personal dash*

…I’ve been gone a long time. I don’t recognize ANY of the new fandoms the cool kids are into now. Last time I was here it was all Wreck-It-Ralph references. And everyone’s changed names and icons.

(Roleplay blogging apparently shoved me 4 years into the past.)

So Phillip Seymour Hoffman (aka the man who was set to be Plutarch Heavensbee for Mockinjay parts one and two for those who aren’t familiar with his other works) dies just as Rowling drops this George Lucas-worthy “ship regret” on us, while Jared Padalecki gets flak for a ‘too soon’ tweet made about PSH’s death.

fandoms

u gonna be ok?

How to write a kiss

Okay, first, remember that a kiss is much, much more than just lips.  It is lips, but also tongues, teeth, eyes, faces, hands, noses, bodies, heartbeats,  breath, voice- and most importantly, a kiss is emotions.  A kiss without emotion is just wet mushy lips stuck together.  Ew.  Gross.  The most important part of a kiss isn’t the how, but the who- because of the emotions between the two people.

Okay so:

lips- Lips can slide, glide over each other smoothly, or they can be chapped and rough and dry and get stuck on each other.  They can match, top-to-top and bottom-to-bottom, or they can overlap, with one person’s top or bottom lip captured between the other person’s lips (yummy).  If there is lipstick or chapstick there is lipstick or chapstick flavor, otherwise, lips don’t have a taste (can you taste yours?).  Lips also can smack- the sound of two of them coming together or pulling apart, because they’re wet and warm and soft. 

tongue- Tongues are always wet, and always warm.  They’re very versatile.  They can trace over lips, teeth, or another tongue.  They can be smooth and graceful or teasing and flicking.  When tongues are involved, there is drool.  It’s only sexy when you like the person you’re kissing, or else it’s kinda gross. :P

teeth- teeth can clack together awkwardly, or teeth can bite down sensually.  A person biting their own lip is cute, a person biting another’s lips is sexy.  A person biting gently is sensual, a person biting roughly is sexual. 

eyes- Eyes can be wide open with surprise, half-lidded with desire, fully closed with pleasure.  Eyes can gaze lovingly, lustfully, wistfully, hungrily, seductively- it all depends upon the emotions of your characters.  Have them do whatever you like, but don’t leave them out- give them at least a mention!

faces- Faces are what the lips are attached to.  Noses bump, cheeks flush, ears turn red, foreheads either wrinkle or relax.  Kisses can leave lips, quite easily, and become kisses on chins, cheeks, noses, foreheads, ears, necks, throats.  Kisses on noses or foreheads are cute and adorable, kisses on cheeks are sweet, kisses on chins, ears, and throats are very sexual.  And a kiss on the lips can be all of those! <3

hands- Hands are super-important.  In order to describe a kiss, usually you want to also describe the hands.  Where are they?  Does one character have their hand behind the other’s head or back, holding them close?  Are they on someone’s shoulders pulling them near, or pushing them away?  Fingers brushing someone’s cheek or palms grabbing someone’s ass convey two very different kinds of situations, even if the kiss itself is exactly the same.

noses- Noses are annoying.  They easily get in the way, especially for first kisses!  People have to tilt their head to one side or the other, and if they don’t, noses bump.  I’d only mention noses if a kiss is supposed to be awkward or uncertain or nervous.

bodies- bodies are either close together, or far away.  Someone can be surrounded comfortingly by someone’s arms, or terrifyingly trapped by them.  Bodies are warm or hot, they are calm or nervous, relaxed or tense.  Body language says a lot.  Is your character pulling away, or moving closer?

heartbeat- Hearts can beat fast or slow, and that’s about all they can do- but there are lots of reasons why they do!  A heart can beat fast with fear or excitement or nervousness; a heart can pound with lust or race with terror or sing with joy.  Hearts can glow, cower, or shatter.  When you really want to drive the emotions of a character home, mention the heart.

breath- To me, the most consuming part of a kiss is the breath.  The air that someone else has just breathed going deep into your lungs is very intimate.  Lips and tongues don’t have a taste, but breath does.  Each person’s breath tastes different, smells different, and surrounds a person differently than anyone else’s breath.  Breath can be warm and sweet, breath can be hot and sexy, breath can be hot and frightening.  It is something that is very present and should not be left out.  A lot of writers leave breath out.  And it’s so important; it’s the most intimate part of a kiss.  Someone else is breathing into your lungs, and it’s either heaven or it’s hell.

voice- Voice conveys much, even without words.  A voice can groan, whimper, gasp, moan, catch, whine, scream, sigh.  Voice can convey emotion powerfully, and while some kisses are silent, usually they’re not. 

emotion-  Emotion is the most important- and the thing you try not to say.  You want to describe it, through all of the things above, so that it’s perfectly clear what your characters are feeling, without you ever using the “feelings words”.  If they’re in love, their bodies will lean close, their eyes will smile, their voices will giggle softly.  If they’re nervous, their palms will sweat, their noses will bump, their voices will shudder.  If they’re afraid, their muscles will be tense, their faces will grimace, their lips will not open.  Emotion is the color that you keep inside your mind as you write; it’s the base line that drives the description behind everything else you say.

Wow, that was a lot!  Gosh I hope it wasn’t too much!  Keep in mind not every kiss has all these things- this is just a list of things to consider when writing a kiss, and based on how long of a kiss you want to make.  Keep in mind that typing “they kissed for a long time”…that’s six words, it takes half a second to read, so that’s a short kiss!  If you want a long kiss, you need long sentences that make the reader linger. 

So maybe to start off, pick three things on the list to describe in your first kiss.  Don’t try to do it all- that would be too much for even the most epic kiss.  Just pick what’s most important to this particular scene, to these particular characters, and describe those parts along with the lips, and you’ve got yourself an awesome, emotional kiss.

HTML HELP & CODES
TUTORIALS:
01. HOW TO: Reblog Yourself
02. HOW TO: Change An Image’s Opacity
03. HOW TO: Create A Drop In Recommend Box
04. HOW TO: Enable Your Ask Box
05. HOW TO: Use A Favicon
06. HOW TO: Reblog A Link
07. HOW TO: Create Block Navigation
08. HOW TO: Get A Fixed Header
09. HOW TO: Get A Pop-Up Welcome Message
10. HOW TO: Get A Pop-Up Exit Message
11. HOW TO: Use A Dash-Theme
12. HOW TO: Redirect URLS
13. HOW TO: Create A Custom Domain Name
14. HOW TO: Allow Replies To Posts
15. HOW TO: Put Music On Your Tumblr
16. HOW TO: Track Someone’s IP ADDRESS
17. HOW TO: See Who Unfollows You
18. HOW TO: Get Accordian Links
19. HOW TO: Get A Chatbox
20. HOW TO: Creating & Tagging A “Favorites” Page
21. HOW TO: Creating A New Page
22. HOW TO: Get A Tumblr Tag Cloud

TUTORIALS:
01. HTML Code: Changing The Bold, Italic, Underline
02. HTML Code: Infinite Scrolling
03. HTML Code: Auto Pager
04. HTML Code: fading effect for links
05. HTML Code: site visitor counter
06. HTML Code: site hit counter
07. HTML Code: Basic Codes
08. HTML Code: Scroll Box
09. HTML Code: Ask Box Code
10. HTML Code: Drop Down Menu
11. HTML Code; Drop Down Navigation
12. HTML Code: Recommend Button
13. HTML Code: Snow Effect
14. HTML Code: Bubbles Cursor
15. HTML Code: Create Tabbed Links
16. HTML Code: Sparkle Cursor: One Color
17. HTML Code: Sparkle Cursor: Two Colors
18. HTML Code: Image Mapping Code
19. HTML Code: Background Image in Tumblr Posts
20. HTML Code: Faded Text
21. HTML Code: Fireworks Effect
22. HTML Code: Create Rounded Edges
23. HTML Code: Shadow Behind DIVS
24. HTML Code: Cursor Text Trail
25. HTML Code: Custom Cursor Images
26. HTML Code: Rotating Posts On Mouse Over
27. HTML Code: RARE Title Header Code

onmyroadtohell:

Hello everyone and thank you so much for your follows! I started this blog in secret (for various reasons) with no affiliation to anybody, so I feel like 50 followers is really an achievement.
So, to celebrate I will give 3 winners wonderful prizes because I love each and every one of you and I want to make you nice things!
All you have to do is be following me and like and/or reblog this post (likes will count as 1 entry and reblogs will count as two- as many as you like.) 
Winners will receive the following:
1st place: ♦ 1 photoset/gifset for the character/ship of your choosing.♦ 1 gif/photo edit of your choosing (I can do crackships, demon eyes or even something new if you have an idea)♦ 1 promo every day for 1 week.
2nd place:♦ 1 photoset/gifset for your character/ship♦ 1 gif/photo edit
3rd place:♦1 gif/photo edit
For some examples of what I can do, see my tag
All entrants will get a post with links to their URLs in it as mini-promos as well!
Winners will be announced 1st November (Soloman’s birthday and you get the presents!). Please have your askboxes open for discussion of what you would like your graphics to be. I’m excited to make these for you and thank you again so much for following my babies on their adventures!

onmyroadtohell:

Hello everyone and thank you so much for your follows! I started this blog in secret (for various reasons) with no affiliation to anybody, so I feel like 50 followers is really an achievement.

So, to celebrate I will give 3 winners wonderful prizes because I love each and every one of you and I want to make you nice things!

All you have to do is be following me and like and/or reblog this post (likes will count as 1 entry and reblogs will count as two- as many as you like.) 

Winners will receive the following:

1st place
♦ 1 photoset/gifset for the character/ship of your choosing.
♦ 1 gif/photo edit of your choosing (I can do crackships, demon eyes or even something new if you have an idea)
♦ 1 promo every day for 1 week.

2nd place:
♦ 1 photoset/gifset for your character/ship
♦ 1 gif/photo edit

3rd place:
♦1 gif/photo edit

For some examples of what I can do, see my tag

All entrants will get a post with links to their URLs in it as mini-promos as well!

Winners will be announced 1st November (Soloman’s birthday and you get the presents!). Please have your askboxes open for discussion of what you would like your graphics to be. I’m excited to make these for you and thank you again so much for following my babies on their adventures!

Happy Birthday, Froggy. Be sure to cake responsibly.
Anonymous

Hehehehe. Thank you kindly. ‘Course, you say that like cake could hurt me, and that it’s more dangerous than the liquor I’m still attempting to acquire, but then again, considering some of the things other people have done in the name of cake…

…maybe that’s actually GOOD advice.

REMEMBER TO CAKE RESPONSIBLY, KIDDOS.